Zen I began exploring and I found a tunnel zat vas just big enough for me to wriggle through. I found a whole new place to hide and play! I vas having a vunderful time ven it occurred to me zat I vas all alone in ze dark and efryvun else vas not vis me. I realized zen zat I vanted very much to no longer be vehr I vas! So, I tried to find my vay back out and I could NOT find ze tunnel!
At zis point I began climbing all around in a panic and screamed out loudly!
"HELP! HELP!! ZE GREAT BLUE COUCH HAS EATEN ME!!! HELP!"
I could hear all ze uzzah cats laughing at me. And zen I heard my human muzzah outside ze back of ze couch and she said, "Augustus? Can you not find your way out?"
And I shouted, "NO! I can NOT!! It is dark here! And zer are crumbs zat are too yucky to eat! And zer is dust and fuzzy sings efryvehr! AND I DO NOT LIKE IT!"
I ran frantically back and forth so zat she could see me burrowing beneath ze sofa back and could know my location so she could mount a rescue!
But she softly said, "Well, find your way back out. Try to crawl back down closer to the floor. You can do it."
I vas FURIOUS! I layed down and cried more. "Help! I need assistance! I am trapped in ze belly of ze great couch of death and NO VUN CARES ZAT I AM DYING!"
Finally I had no more tears to cry. I got an idea zat if I could trick vun of my bruzzahs into finding me, I could vahtch vehr he came in and zen find my vay back out!
So I said, "La, La, La! I am having SUCH a happy time! It is such great FUN to be here in ze back of ze sofa!"
But no vun came so I raised my voice louder. "Ha HA! Zis is ze BEST place to be in ze vorld! Perhaps I vil stay here FOREVER! And I am ze MOST special kitty because I am ze ONLY vun here and NO VUN is here vis me!"
But still no vun came, so I screeched, "SOMEVUN HAD BETTUH GET IN ZIS COUCH VIS ME RIGHT NOW! IF YOU DO NOT, I VIL VAIT UNTIL YOU ARE SLEEPING AND I VIL PEE ON YOUR LEG JUST AS I DID TO OUR HUMAN MUZZAH!!!"
I vaited quietly for vut seemed like a long time to me. I sink efryvun vas napping and did not hear me.
I became hungry, so I decided to slowly creep towards ze floor. And since I vas no longer in a panic, I vas able to find ze tunnel out. I vas so proud of myself and felt great confidence about zis! But, I vas still quite angry zat no vun vud rescue me.
My human muzzah came to me and tried to pet me and ask if I vas alright. but I shouted at her!
"NO! You may not LOOK at me or TALK to me! You may FEED me and clean my excrement box, AND ZAT IS ALL!"
Zen I added, "YOU DO NOT LIKE ME! NO VUN LOVES ME! I AM NO LONGER A PART OF ZIS FAMILY!!!"
And for emphasis, "YOU are NO LONGER my human muzzah! And I am NO LONGER your AUGUSTUS! You may call me RESIDENT and I vill call you, SCHTINCKY PEE LEG!!!"
And zen I stomped avay into ze uzzah room!
Schtincky Pee Leg followed me and picked me up to nuzzle me. She softly said, "Augustus, I am VERY proud of you. You were brave and smart to find your own way out."
I liked zat she called me "Augustus" and not "Resident." And I liked ze nice sings zat she said to me. And I liked MOST OF ALL zat she vas correct! Zat I HAD been brave and vise to find a vay to do ze sing zat I sought I could not do!
And zis taught me a lesson. Ven somevun feels zat zey cannot solve zehr own problem, you should NOT jump in and solve it for zem. You should go to zem and give zem encouragement and direction, but NOT give zem ze solution until zey haf tried very hard to figure it out for zemselves. Zis vay, if zey can find zehr own answer, zey vil feel strong and able to solve uzzah problems for zemselves in ze future! Zis vil give zem great amounts of CONFIDENCE! Zey vil surely be terribly angry vis you at first, but in ze end, zey vil be happier.
And I did feel happier. Because now I know zat if I evuh get stuck in ze sofa again, I can find my own vay out.
I snuggled vis my human muzzah and purred. I vil let her be "Human Muzzah" again and not "Schtincky Pee Leg." But only because I learned such a good lesson from her. And also because I did not die in ze couch of death.
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