On Dealing Vis Howler Monkeys

Muzzuh and Papa have brought a howler monkey into our home. Zey found it unduh ze house and insisted on keeping it. Zey haf commenced to caring for it. Zey say it is a kitten...but I am not convinced.

Muzzuh schpends ALL her time vis it! If she is not feeding it, she is bathing it. If she is not holding it, she is helping it go pee and poo...WHO needs help vis zat?!! She never helped ME to pee and poo! She never bathed ME! (Except ven she tried to drown me in ze sink vis vahtuh and soap bubbles aftuh I got ze poo schtuck to my leg and my bruzzuhs called me schtinky poo bottom!) AND ze howler monkey has a "woobie"...a special pillow zat zey warm up for him to sleep vis! I NEVER had a WOOBIE! Zis is an OUTRAGE!

And it cries all ze time! It is SO annoying! I cried out to my muzzuh, "VY do ve haf to live vis zis HOWLER MONKEY?!"

But, she just asked me if I vahnted to come and sit vis it. "NO!" I shouted! "RUDE!" And zen I schtomped avay. But ze sound of ze howler monkey's cries seemed to follow me vehrever I vent. I cannot eshcape zose cries. Zey haunt my dreams.

I do not unduhschtand vy I haf been singled out for zis torture. Muzzuh says zat I am just "jealous."

"JEALOUS!?" I cried. "I am NOT JEALOUS of zat schtinky, annoying howler monkey!"

I tried to get close to muzzuh yesterday and ze little menace tried to touch me! "GROSS!" I exclaimed and ran out of ze room!

Alas, my muzzuh never ceases to find new vays to ruin my life. I must rest now...as ze howler monkey sleeps. For I know not ven it vil return to haunt me vis its cries.