Augustus the Hungry Kitten (On guilt)

"At night my bruzzahs and sistah and I like to frolic on ze tall sleeping platform zat ze humanz slumber upon. It is fun to scale and it has billowy cuvuhs. My bruzzah, Jaspuh, vas biting at my human muzzah's toes and pretending it vas a great monstuh beneath ze cuvahs. My human muzzah avoke and shouted at him to stop!

Zen, ven she had fallen back to her sleep, Jaspuh said zat I should pee on her. Jaspuh vas mad at our human muzzah for rebuking him. I told Jaspuh zat I did not sink zat I should do zis! But zen zey all taunted me and said, 'Augustus is a spoiled baby! Augustus is afraid of ze humanz! Augustus has no bravery to do zis!'

Zis made me very angry and I cried out, 'I am NOT afraid of ANYSING!!!'

Zen I heard Daniel calling up from ze floor saying zat he did not sink it vas right to do somesing like zat...but I did not listen to him because I vanted to SHOW my siblings zat I vas brave and daring and zat ZEY ver wrong to say zat I vas NOT!

So I became very brave and zen I urinated on my human muzzah's leg. It vas quite warm and comforting at first, but zen it became cold and uncomfortable very soon aftuh. So ve all left ze giant sleeping platform and vent to rest in ze prison room...which is now no longer barred at night.

In ze morning, ze humanz ver VERY upset to find my pee on ze bed. My human muzzah vent to vash her leg and zen ripped all of ze vunderful cuvuhs off and fed zem to ze giant metal monstuh in ze laundry room. I could hear ze monstuh drooling on ze cuvahs and zen he SHOOK zem violently about!

As ve vaited to be fed, my bruzzahs laffed and called my human muzzah 'schtinky pee leg.' I tried very hard not to luck at her ven she fed us. I did not feel in a happy mood. 

Zen Daniel said zat he sought zat it vas not good to urinate on people. And zat angered me and I screamed, 'I DO NOT VANT TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT ZIS!!!'

But, down deep, I knew zat Daniel vas correct. I vent and rested on ze couch and felt terrible. I decided zat I vud try harder not to let somevun bully me into making a mean decision. I learned zat you should NOT listen to bullies and you should NOT urinate on people. Zese are lessons zat efryvun should live by. So if you haf peed on somevun, you should go and tell zem you are sorry today. But, it is even bettuh to choose NOT to pee on somevun in ze first place. Zis vil save you a vorld of guilt."