Augustus the Hungry Kitten: (On being afraid and telling stories)

“Last night, I found it difficult to sleep. Daniel and I ver resting in ze prison room and talking softly about ze masked bandits ve had seen earlier. It occurred to us zat zer vas dry cat food in ze room vis us…and zat if ze villains came in our room to get it, ve did not vant zem to look at us vis zer terrible devil eyes.

Sometimez ven you are very much full of fear, it is hard to know vat to say, except zat you are very, very afraid. And so I asked Daniel, I said, ‘Daniel? Are you scared? Because I am not scared, but I am concerned zat you may be.’

And Daniel responded, 'Oh YES, Augustus! I am very, very afraid.’ And zen he asked me to tell him a story. And so zis is ze story I told:

‘Vonce upon ze time, zer vas a brave and golden varrior who had many friends and who smelled of hamburgahs and happiness. Ze varrior and his friend, ver on a long journey ven zey came upon a giant rat monstuh. Ze rat monstuh said, "I am going to eat ALL ze food in ze vorld!" And ze great golden varrior said, "OH NO YOU ARE NOT GOING TO DO ZIS! GO AVAY RAT MONSTUH!" And ze rat monstuh said, "OH MY! I am so very much afraid of you and also I am sorry to you and you are so brave and strong zat I vil go avay just like you command!"

Zen zey ver approached by a horrible schtinky monstuh. And ze golden varrior said, "GO BE SCHTINKY SOMEWHERE ZAT VE ARE NOT!" And zen ze golden varrior’s bruzzahs and sistahs arrived and called ze monstuh a schtinky poo bottom monstuh! And ze schtinky monstuh ran avay to take a bath!

Later zey ver ambushed by evil food bandits vis devil eyes! And ze great golden varrior protected ze food and his friend! He shouted, "NO YOU VIL NOT BE MEAN AND SCARY TO US! YOU ARE VERY BAD BANDITS AND YOU VIL LEAF US ALONE!" And zen ze varrior attacked! Schmack, schmack, schmack, schmack, SCHMACK!!! And ze evil bandits peed on zer own legs in fear and zen ran off! And efryone vas so grateful and happy and safe! And efryone liked ze golden varrior so much and vanted to be his friend.'

Zen Daniel asked me, ‘Vat next, Augustus?’

I sought Daniel had fallen asleep by now…and vas not prepared for zis question. But I continued ze story…

'Vell…zen…zey…uh…valked some more. And zey just kept valking on zer journey. And…zey…ate strawberries. And…zen…zey valked farther…and zen…zer vas dancing…and zen…and zen…'

At zis point, I stopped and vispered to Daniel and asked if he vas still avake. He did not answer, so I knew he vas sleeping. So I did not finish my story. I vas happy to help Daniel ven he vas so frightened….because I vas not frightened…only Daniel. But, I vas relieved zat he fell asleep. Because telling stories is a hard business.

I drifted to sleep soon aftuh Daniel. And I did not dream of ze bandits, but of happy times and friends who like my stories.”